Ugly Dog Hunting has been channeling the inner spirit of real gun dogs for over 20 years. Under the
therapeutic guidance of our founder, Scrub, (now a celestial body of his own), our staff – both human
and canine – has logged many miles afield under the guise of product testing. Excuses to avoid work
aside, we now feel we have the scope to provide the scoop. Time for an Ugly Dog blog.
Our first inclination was to hire an outside writer for the task. Concurrently, it was our first mistake. We
contracted the services of a freelancer who turned out to be a dyslexic drahthaar perpetually confusing
the word “blog” with “glob” and waxing poetic about the viscous marvels of bear poop during raspberry
Next we hired a Braque du Bourbonnais team that showed a lot of promise, having advanced degrees in
various aspects of freckled media relations. Sadly they turned out to be no more than a pair of online
trolls whose sole purpose in life appears to be antagonizing dogs without dew claws who can’t hold a
Finally we turned in-house to find the right writer for our blog. While Schwarzwald’s Run River Run has
notable dew claw dexterity with a keyboard, she’s taken a leave of absence to complete her field work in
the proper search and demolition of songbird nests. Merrymeeting’s North Country Prairie Dog refuses to engage in any overtime hours for the company unless they include the opportunity to sprint as fast as
possible while looking backwards and subsequently running into stationary vehicles and large tree trunks. Ridgepoint’s Right Rudder wouldn’t even consider our request, making it quite clear that her only purpose in life besides hunting is to lounge in the grass, gaze at the south field, and throw spine-tingling glares of snark at anyone foolish enough to disturb her peace.
That left Scratch. Known by a few as Merrymeeting’s Scratched Gunstock, recognized by many as the
former Lightening Rod of Trouble and current Lord of My Own Zone, Scratch, not surprisingly, does have
a few things to say. When we asked if he’d take the job of Ugly Dog blogger, his immediate response
was a reassuring “Who? What? Me? Where am I? When’s dinner?” A heaping bowl of kibble plus two
Gas-Xs later, he settled in to draft a blog or two. Getting in the mood, Scratch told us stories of his past
glory, highlighting 300 yard running rooster tracks, stunning bracemate backs, and his renowned
penchant for retrieving a spent shotwads. By the time he was done retelling – for the fourth time – the
one about how he handled the 14-bird wild quail covey next to the alligator swamp, his audience started
to lose interest. And when he concluded his long dissertation on how to fail the NAVHDA Invitational by
peeing for 8.5 minutes between the short bird and the memory bird on the Double Mark Retrieve,
everyone had gone home for the night.
This is the point in the blog where our tech consultants say we should add some product mentions to
imbed links and encourage you to explore the site and buy stuff. To that end, Scratch suggested that the best way to develop our blog would be to start with a foundation of solid hunting dog information. For that we direct you to the books and videos we offer, perhaps beginning with the Encyclopedia of Sporting Dogs edited by Steve Smith, The Best Trained Gun Dog written by Joan Bailey, and the terrific Richard Wolters’ series of training videos, Water Dog, Game Dog, and Gun Dog.
From there, we invite you to follow our blog. Scratch is planning varied content – some stories from the
field; hunting dog info; gear tips; and of course lots of unsolicited bird dog opinions on a range of topics
somehow all related to putting a limit of birds in the bag.